Animals of the Internet


When you’re surfing the World Wide Web does it sometimes feel like instead you’re wandering an unexplored forest, braving a massive desert, or exploring the depths of the ocean? Sometimes the internet can seem like a zoo full of wild animals. But if you take the time to understand the nature of the beasts, you’ll be able to tame any of them. So here are a few of the animals (websites) you will encounter on your deep sea voyage.

The Largest Animal in the World

The blue whale is the largest animal on earth. It weighs over 2000 times more than the average human. Naturally, Google is the blue whale of the internet. The Google home page gets over 900 million unique visitors each month. A decent website will be lucky to get over one million. Aside from its sheer size, Google deserves to be the blue whale because it could swallow almost any other animal. So let’s go ahead and say that in this comparison, other web portals and search engines are the other big guys – whales, giant squids, African elephants, rhinos, etc.

“Hey, you wanna know the most annoying site on the web?”

If Google is the majestic and awesome blue whale, then phishing, scraper, and attack sites are the creepy crawlers of the world. Some of these sites are literally called “spiders” because they sneak around the web to wreak havoc and make people jump out of their skin.   It would be safe to say that gripe and shock sites can be added to this list as well. These are the sites that are the cockroaches you find on your walls that, no matter how many times you squish, they always seem to regenerate.

Flying High

The next few categories are significantly less horrifying than the insects but still have their own pros and cons. There are the soaring birds of the web, aiming high and building their nests of commerce. This covers sites in the business sector like affiliates, brand builders, corporate, and e-commerce sites. Mostly, birds stick to themselves but every now and then you get one too many promotional emails or just another ad to close and it feels like a pigeon pooped on your windshield.

Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Schools of fish are always together and people who are addicted to social media never seem to stop. Anything that connects us to each other – blogs, dating sites, social networking – are like fish. Then there are communities and forums. Yes, I know that dolphins aren’t fish but communities and forums are definitely the dolphins. It’s a place for you to communicate and feel part of an environment where others are like you. It’s almost like a sanctuary. So among the tons of other places where you could go to interact, you are somewhere that is just a little bit different.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Information sites can feel boring and dated. For this, archive, content, information, news, political, and government sites are deemed the turtles of the internet. The outer appearance is obvious – they have information that you want to know. But what is really inside of a turtle’s shell? Cartoons would have us believe that it’s a secret world away from ours. So do information sites have more to them than meets the eye?

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Some sites are strictly for entertainment purposes. These include celebrity, gallery, gaming, humor, and showcase sites. Yes, you can connect with other people through these sites but it’s much more likely that you’re using them for your own personal enjoyment. Just as a monkey will mimic behavior to keep itself occupied, we will visit these sites to get new hobbies and copy other people’s interests.

How They All Relate

Obviously, within these categories there is some overlap. The interesting thing is that, with the exception of the whale, none of these animals has a huge advantage over the others. Insects are annoying and could bother any of these other classes, but the others can eat the insects. Although the insects and annoying sites of the internet will never disappear completely, they are constantly in battle. Birds, fish, turtles, and monkeys don’t pose any obvious threat to one another. I’d imagine you could put them all in the same habitat and there wouldn’t be too much of a conflict. But when you bring in the blue whale, you see who the real ruler is.
Theo Schmidt has an interest in computer science and engineering, and he uses that interest to fuel his blogging and boost Toronto SEO companies. Theo also enjoys spending time in the outdoors, and he is passionate about protecting the environment.

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